Tryin' Again

I've been on a dating hiatus since the beginning of the year. My thoughts, efforts and energies have been involved elsewhere...wrapped up in work, and in matters of my heart. Work seems to be getting situated, although it's still taking a lot out of me...emotionally and physically.
Time has been flying by...and it's only days until my soldier love comes back from being incommunicado. I haven't forgotten about him. To the contrary, I think about him all the time. I miss him. I want him. To touch him. Kiss him. Hold him. Have all of him. My memories haven't faded. They're burned in my mind, where they'll remain forever. No matter what. A fantastic, wonderful, treasured memory of passion, fun, sweetness, ecstasy, adoration. One that I want to re-create, time and time again, forever.
But he's 25 and in the Army for at least the next 5 and a half years. Not sure which is the greater deterrent. Romantic that I am, I try to dismiss both. Ready to move to any Army base anywhere...because of how I feel for him, and how that is so much more sacred and important than any other variable. Because I rarely feel it. I rarely love/lust/respect/desire the same person. They never deserve it. Never warrant anything close. But...he brought out my sweetness...which is exactly what I'm looking for...someone I can open my heart to and pour my love upon.
My sweet soldier love, who I want to hug and climb upon and kiss all over...he's the one that remains, lingers in my thoughts. Looking into someone else's eyes, I thought of him...of kissing him, of laying down with him, holding his hand, doing nothing and doing everything with him...and feeling completely content. Is hanging on to these thoughts just...dangerous for me, or safe for me...ultimately dangerous for me...if my romanticized fantasy doesn't come true. The safety for me is in not having any expectations of him. Because I can't. But, don't I deserve more than to have my heart caught up without any expectations? I can't cheat myself out of the possibility of my happy ending. I can't give up on my happily ever after. As ferociously scary as the possibility of happily ever after is for me.