Disappearing Act- Take Two

Although I had high hopes for the Southern Gentleman after we shared a cozy night over chicken soup and movies in my apartment a few weeks ago, alas, a zebra does not change his stripes. He disappeared again. For another two weeks. Without so much as a phone call, an email or a text...without a trace. Again, perplexed by the pieces of this puzzle just not fitting together, I emailed him. I never had this much communication with either of my ex-fiances after running away from each of them...I'd never return a call, an email, a text...but with SG, I was compelled to write. Again. Maybe because of the simple fact that there was really no love lost.....just morbid curiosity. My email went something like this:

"As I'm sure you're well aware, you've disappeared again. Trust me, I've had some strange dating experiences before...but I was able to deciper logical explanations for them. But this is so bizarre, I just can't wrap my head around it. Did your wife come back and you two decided to reconcile? Did your parole officer track you down and put you on house arrest? Did you have a relapse and go back into the hospital?

I invited you into my home last week, we had what I thought was a really good time...you asked me out again, called me for the next 3 days, and we planned a date for Thursday (I guess I'm recounting these events just to illuminate how bizarre this whole scenario is, since I'm sure you recall what happened...unless you've come down with amnesia and have no idea who I am, which is why you stopped calling (again) and haven't returned my phone call or text message).

Well, I certainly hope you're in good health and that's not the reason you've disappeared for the second time. And, again, I'd appreciate an explanation of your disappearance, because I just can not understand this behavior. At the risk of sounding like a schmuck, I have to say, this is really bothering me. Hope you're well."

And then I went on with my life. A week passed before SG unexpectedly popped up in my inbox, again. His email went something like this:

"I am sorry for not being in touch sooner. I really am. I don't know what's right in this situation. I have had a rather difficult several weeks for a variety of reasons (some of which you know about), and it's not fair to drag you through some of the things that are going on, especially this early. That is my rationalization for keeping you separate from what's going on, and I can convince myself that it is legitimate. Is it? Do you want to be involved in the inner-goings-on of that last several weeks? I tell myself you do not, and that is a safe place from which I, and you, don't have to talk about it.

It is difficult for me to talk about it, and I don't mean that to underestimate your ability to be understanding. It is nothing crazy, but it is very personal. I would really like to talk to you about it, but I don't know if it is a good idea. I like you . . . I like you a bunch, which is why I dropped off. I had such a good time with you at your home. I don't have the secret on how to proceed with this, so if you would like to talk, I would be willing to let you in.

I would be baffled if I was in your shoes too. I should have let you know what was going on, or at least that I couldn't make Thursday. I apologize for that. It was thoughtless. It would be great if you could extend a little faith and talk to me again although you don't owe me anything. I handled the situation poorly to say the least."

His writing was so gramatically correct and enticing, it lured me back in. I replied, succinctly, "Okay, please explain". He replied immediatley, with the following:

"I was hoping to talk, but I will type. I completely understand how you feel and why you feel that way. You have very little to go on with me except that I've disappeared twice without a peep. It's not a very glowing picture of me as yet. I have very much enjoyed the time we have spent together, however short, and think that it's worth telling you something personal.

I have a family member who goes from institution to institution as he has some physical and mental difficulties. He was in an institution in Hendersonville, NC which was not working out. My father asked me to come up to help him move from Hendersonville to a place right outside of Spartanburg, SC so he could be closer to home . . . and it's a nicer place.

I left on the Wedsnesday before I was going to see you. I got back into town yesterday. My only excuses for not getting in touch were that I didn't know if I should share that with you (didn't know how), Metro PCS does not work outside of S. Florida, and I didn't even bring my phone with me to Hendersonville anyway. Regardless of the above, I still should have given you a call to let you know I wouldn't be around . . . I have no excuse for not doing that, and I am sorry for it. It was kind of a hectic time though. Family stuff is difficult sometimes.

Again, I could've handled this better with you, and I'm sorry I didn't. My life rarely has the "drama" that has been the case over the last 2 months . . . things have just clumped up lately. I hope that I can talk to you again at some point because I do like you and have fun when we see eachother. If not, I do understand, and I wish you well. I hope everything is going well for you."

It was compelling, interesting, and I actually do believe his story, the meat of it, anyway. I don't buy the fact that he didn't have access to email for two weeks. Don't they have the internet in the Carolinas? And if he left town on Wednesday, why didn't he return my text from Monday or call from Tuesday? Still, too many holes in the story and unanswered questions remained.

I was enticed by the way he so beautifully strung his words together. And because his writing was so lovely I actually debated this for a while, even though in my heart of hearts I knew I could not pursue this further. I debated for a few hours...to respond, or not to respond. The guy's credibility was totally shot, so what would be the point, really? And all he had to do was send a text, an email, saying he had a family emergency & would call when he got back. Is that really too much to ask? So, I decided: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I'm not so great with second chances, third chances rarely exist in my world...and why should they? If someone disproves themselves to you twice, what do you think they're going to do the third time around? As I re-read his melodic words I admit I'm drawn to email him, offering him that third chance to make things right, so I can look up into those sparkling green eyes again. But, I won't allow myself to. I know it's not wise and I deserve more. So, as much as I may want to probe further, I think it's best to simply not respond. And so, sadly, I let SG go the way of all my other sexless lovers....fading into the past.