Wolves In Sheep's Clothing

I'm not sure if it was the chicken soup, or seeing his 6'3" green-eyed handsome-ness in the flesh again, but I felt much better after Southern Gentleman's visit. And he must have been just as delighted to see me (why wouldn't he be?), which was apparent when he called me the next day...just to say hello and touch base, and when he called me the day after that, as well. And he called the following day, Sunday, at which time we solidified our dinner plans for the upcoming Thursday.

Everything seemed to be going along swimmingly, and whatever red flags may have been waving in front of me I promptly ignored, true to form. I'm sure I was too busy looking in the mirror to notice them. It seemed things were back on track now that SG resurfaced from his 2 week disappearance, 6 days of which he was hospitalized, the other 8 of which he was apparently not able to use a telephone to either talk or text. This can happen, right? Now that he was admittedly feeling exponentially better, he was very attentive to my healthcare needs and, most importantly, to me. Everything was okay.

I wanted to be reciprocal...since he'd mentioned before his disappearance that I could call him too. So, I texted him on Monday to wish him luck with a new endeavor that he was embarking on. He didn't respond. I figured he must be very busy, what with his new endeavor, and all. So, the next day, Tuesday, I called him on my way home from work...got his voicemail and left a caring, friendly message... caring, friendly person that I am. I didn't hear back from him that day either. Maybe he was still busy with his new endeavor? Twenty four hours later I still hadn't heard from him. It was at that time that I was forced to conclude that our Thursday night date was most likely not still on. So, what does anyone faced with such a situation do? I went out and got drunk with my soon to be 60 year old mother and 84 year old grandmother, and then got perhaps a little too friendly with a 150 pound Mastiff...but that's a story for another time.

And here we are, 6 days into SG's second disappearance and I have to say, I am deeply disturbed by this one. I just can not wrap my head around it. It doesn't make any sense. Aston Martin guy I understand. I totally get it. Four dates in, he made it crystal clear that he wanted to get laid. I didn't give in. And I never heard from him again. I understood it. I accepted it. I had no questions. Nothing to wonder about. And I went on my merry way to the next lunatic. Even though Aston Martin is clearly a disgusting animal, it all made perfect sense to me. This, does not. SG never even tried to kiss me. He appeared to be a sweet, kind, caring gentleman...not manipulative or underhanded or harboring any ulterior-motives. Truth be told, although nothing should surprise me, I'm in shock and awe. I don't like shock and awe.

Without question, and beyond the shadow of any doubt, I would not let SG ever have the pleasure of my company again (not that he wants it anyway, apparently, but I'm just saying). Not even if he came to me begging, with doctors notes and hospital records of an emergency kidney-ectomy in hand, would I give him the time of day. Clearly, he is not worthy of my affections. He's now proven this. Twice. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, and I'm a complete and total ass----. Come to think of it, if SG hasn't had an emergency kidney-ectomy...I think he absolutely should.

I honestly wish I were past this already and not even giving him the time of day with my thoughts and words, because I do realize that's bad enough, but I can't let it go. Give me another week and it'll be gone, but at the moment I can't get past it. This behavior is so bizarre, so perplexing to me, that it's almost all I can think about. My friend, Latin Lover, assures me that this is indeed normal behavior...of a man who has another woman who he decided he likes better than me. While I do recognize that that scenario is within the realm of possibility, the actions still don't add up for me. It just doesn't make sense. And I want answers. Answers I know I'll never get. Answers that, even if I got them, I wouldn't believe. So, what am I looking for? Am I looking to hear or read words that are completely meaningless, completely useless, words of a liar. Clearly, I am looking for something that I have not yet found.

SG has reminded me of, and illuminated for me, a lesson that Al Pacino and Keanu Reeves taught me years ago: Beware of wolves in sheep's clothing. They are the most dangerous of predators. But really, who am I to judge SG's actions? I'm sure someone else will take care of that.