I needed some time to myself...to disappear...to relax, to focus on just me, myself and I. I needed the beach, the sun, the pool, my alone time. I needed to retreat...to the back of my closet for a little while. I needed my own space, without anyone peeking in. But, as great, and as necessary as that time was, I knew I couldn't, and shouldn't, stay there forever. I needed to re-emerge. So, here I am. Slightly changed, slightly more aware of who I am, where I am, what I need, slightly more aware of why I might not have what I think I may want. Introspection and realization are good things...it's always time well spent when we learn about ourselves.
Don't think that just because I wasn't talking, I wasn't doing. I just didn't feel like sharing. I didn't want any feedback. I didn't want to hear any opinions. I wanted anonymity. I wanted to exercise my God given right to do, or not do, anything I damn well pleased at any time I damn well wanted...without any responsibilities, any obligations, any judgements. I just wanted to take care of ME. So, I did.
For the past few feeks I have successfully aspired to live the ultimate beach bum lifestyle. And I liked it. A lot. Maybe too much. I woke up late every day, and lay in bed contemplating which beach to go to. I hit three different beaches in three different towns in three days. I was in heaven. As I listened to the waves crash in while repeatedly re-applying my sunscreen, I wracked my brain trying to figure out how I could do this full time and not return to the working world...ever again. I know first hand it's completely over-rated. Much to my chagrin, I didn't figure it out...not yet, anyway. And since the calendar says I start my new job tomorrow...I'll have to relinquish myself to being the ultimate beach bum only 2 days a week for now. During the other five days, I'll hock real estate.
Now back to our regularly scheduled program...
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