July is always a tough month for me. It's always the month that I turn another year older. I'm watching the years, and my life tick away, and I don't have what I want. I don't feel happy. Or content. Or secure. Why? Because I'm single. About to be 37 and single. And extremely attractive, educated, articulate, caring, funny, had a successful career for the last 5 years...and completely, painfully, frustratingly single.
I've been looking for the right guy for a long time. And I just can not find him. The problem is not that I'm too picky....that has always been far from the problem. I'm open to all different types, I'm just looking for a good guy with a great heart who has integrity and morals and is looking for the same thing I am...love. This has proven very elusive. Will I ever be happy if I don't find a great guy to share what's left of my life with. No. Definitely not. That's not how it's supposed to be. Not how we're designed. We're designed to need, crave companionship, love, affection. Even on Sex and the City...with their glamourous lives, great friends, successful careers, fantastic clothes....they were all ultimately in search of the love, the lover, the partner to share it all with, to make it all worth it. And that's what I want. I deserve it. I have a lot of love to give. I just want to love and be loved by someone worthy. Someone good.
My birthday is fast approcahing, and I've just made a drastic change in my life....I quit my job. I was miserable. I was burnt out. I hated going to work. So, I quit. This is unlike me...usually I stay for far too long in situations I shouldn't be in. But, lately, I just can't take the discomfort.
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