The Ties That Bond

There are only a few people...in any one of our lives...that we would do anything for. Very few. Maybe one, perhaps two, possibly three. My brother is one of my few people.
I've spent the last few days in Philly...to be with my brother while he had surgery for the first time. I'm happy to be able to be here for him...no one should have to go through surgery without having a family member by their side...but it sure was a scary day. We stayed in a state of denial for as long as possible...basically until we walked into the hospital the morning of the surgery, at which point there was no more denying it.
It's a strange thing...you try to pretend that all the thoughts that are instinctively and naturally at the forefront of your mind aren't there. In order to get through it, you have to tell yourself that there's nothing to worry about, that everything will be fine. You have to tell yourself these things precisely because there IS something to worry about and everything may NOT be fine. So, what you're really thinking while you're telling yourself that everything will be okay is, "What if?"
The surgery was considered somewhat minor, as far as surgeries go, but it was still on his back, and it still involved general anesthesia, and surgery always has a risk...of complications, of infections... of death. Scary thoughts. My brother happens to be a doctor...an anesthesiologist, in fact. So, he does this everyday...makes people go to sleep, and then makes them wake up. He's got people's lives in his hands every time he goes to work. But this time, he was the one in the hospital gown, laying in the bed, vulnerable, putting his life in someone else's hands.
When I spoke to my sister, who happens to be one of my other "very few people", to give her the update on our brother...that the surgery was a success, he was doing well and we were relaxin' in his hospital room in a morphene haze...she mentioned that he and I must have bonded. When she said those words I recalled her having said them to me before...maybe a few months ago, maybe a few years ago...I don't remember the when or even the why of her previous declaration of our presumed increased closeness. What I do remember is that my response was the same. I told her we didn't bond. I told her we can't bond anymore. Our bonding is done. It was done a very long time ago. We'd already bonded to the Nth degree, hence, there can be no further bonding. We're bonded to the max.
I know what she meant. She meant that my being there with him during this trying, scary time must have made us closer. But it didn't. Just as me being her maid of honor a few months ago didn't make her and I closer. Just like her planning a special birthday weekend for me after yet another guy let me down didn't make me any closer with her either. The closeness was established long ago.
I realize not all siblings have each other as their "few people". I've always known this was a very special blessing that was bestowed upon the three of us...always knowing that I could never have made it through without them...always knowing that life could never have been as good without them.